What better time to blog about forgiveness than now… the time between Valentine’s Day—the day designated to take special care and recognize our loved ones, and Easter—the day Christians celebrate our belief that Jesus died on, and resurrected from, the Cross for people all around the world…to bring about forgiveness.

I was never a fan of Oprah’s version of forgiveness; or more to the point, I never quite understood what it was she was trying to convey. Back in the 90’s I couldn’t just forgive someone who betrayed my deep-rooted trust, get over it, and move on without an apology. Some people are better at that than others…that wasn’t me. However, a few years after my cancer protocol ended, after I married my husband and found out I was pregnant with our son shortly thereafter…my perception of forgiveness became much clearer.

Anne Garcia McCullough and Maura Ellis Youle, guests from my 1/31/2011 ONWARD AND UPWARD radio program at www.blogtalkradio.com/ErinLey, were able to eloquently explain our mutual understanding of what forgiveness is…one I am able to accept and extend. During our program, Anne and Maura clarify how forgiveness benefits the person wronged. They spoke in detail about how it wasn’t about making the situation(s) more baggage for the one who was hurt to carry. No. Instead, they explained, and have CD’s demonstrating, how forgiveness is about “for giving it up” and moving on, with or without an apology. Lighter load…lighter life! Moving on would depend on how someone decides to respond (not react) to being mistreated. Every individual has their own personal reason for how they forgive someone and move on…incredibly personal…and not to be judged.

Anne’s approach, with the care of Maura, Anne’s neighbor who teaches Yoga and Reiki, helped Anne go from being a legally blind mother and MS patient needing a walker, ingesting an incredible amount of medications, and dealing with multiple medical conditions, to a Black-Belt Kick-Boxer with eye-vision better than 20/20, and no meds! WOW! Together they created “Hopeology” at www.infusionofhope.com and have helped countless people with their remarkable work and findings.

On a personal note, I base my relationships—personal and in the workplace—mainly on trust. It’s difficult for me to have a solid relationship with an individual once that foundation has been cracked. However, there have been a handful of times in my life whereby my relationship with someone has actually *improved* because our relationship temporarily derailed.

A recent example of this is regarding someone I’ve been best friends with for many years…one of the kindest, most loving and generous (in every sense of the word) friends I’ve ever had. Upon hearing what I was blogging about during this season of Lent—the season for “giving something up”; or, doing more to help have a constructive impact on our lives and the lives of others—my friend asked that I share our experience with the hope it will help others who feel the need to turn their back on themselves, and those who care for them, out of anguish and despair.

My friend was under tremendous pressure over the last few years financially, at work, with family…her “world” in general was turmoil in her eyes. As her best friend, I did everything I could to help…until one day she decided she didn’t want my help and let me know she wasn’t speaking to me anymore. I was shocked, confused, and incredibly hurt. We were each others’ confidante. Nevertheless, I understood my friend truly believed, and reiterated over and over, that she should be punished for what she saw herself to be—(in her words) an “unsuccessful spouse”; “unreliable source for her children”; and, “lowest form of human walking the planet”—a HUGE misconception! It was upsetting to watch as she distanced herself from everyone she loved and who loved her. She turned into someone unrecognizable and began to commiserate with other sad souls. According to her, they validated each other’s misery making things that much worse; although, at the time, my friend thought she was fulfilling her needs—the need to validate she was a terrible person. Heartbreaking! After about a year of distance, just recently, I ran into my friend at a place we used to go to for a cocktail and some laughs. She grabbed me and begged for my forgiveness. As I looked into my best friends’ eyes, I caught a glimpse of the “real” soul I knew and love. She spoke openly about her self-inflicted pain while traveling her proverbial fork in the road. She made clear how there was a pivotal point during her rock-bottom existence that caused her to scream for help and snap out of it. We both believe divine intervention had a lot to do with it. She still cannot fathom the road she chose prior to her awakening; didn’t realize how depressed she was; feeling contrite; repulsed by her decision making during her mental escape; and thankfully, began therapy just a few days after we spoke. Based on our conversations and confessions thereafter, our relationship is cherished even moreso than it was prior to her lengthy spiral…a new powerful foundation. She’s my best friend, someone I can count on when things hit the fan…and I’m there for her as well. Forgiveness offered and received for the both of us. As Anne Garcia McCullough and Maura Ellis Youle would say, my BFF and I are all “for giving it up.” That was then and this is now.

It takes an incredibly strong person willing to share such feelings with the hope it’ll help others who may not believe they will be forgiven by those who matter most in their lives. My friend is amazing and I’m incredibly blessed to have her in mine.

We’ve all gone through our own personal struggles and have had to ask for forgiveness at times. We’re human…not perfect. Over the decades, a wise woman, Marianne Muldoon, has said to me on occasions when I’d find myself scratching my forehead thinking, “What the hell was that?” she’d say, “Whenever something goes wrong, Bless it and release it to its rightful place…only God knows where it’ll land.” Another extremely wise woman, my mother, also says, “Erin, there’s a cross behind every door and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. It’s those who want you to believe everything’s perfect in their lives who have the most problems.” I’m 47 years old and based on my life experience nothing can be more true.

“The act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time. And that’s why when one has become a forgiving person, and has managed to let go of the past, what they’ve really done is they’ve shifted their relationship with time.” ~ Caroline Myss

As the Irish Blessings go:
May you never forget what is worth remembering, nor ever remember what is best forgotten.

May the best day of your past
Be the worst day of your future.

Wishing everyone a very Happy St. Patrick’s Day!!!

Live ONWARD with great character and a smile!
~Erin

Onward Productions, Inc. Announcements:

The ONWARD AND UPWARD radio show hosted by Erin Ley at www.BlogTalkRadio.com/ErinLey:
“FORGIVENESS, FITNESS, AND FUN!”
Date: March 22, 2013
Time: 2:00pm-3pmET
Guests:
Len Saunders www.LenSaunders.com is an award winning author, motivational speaker in the fight against childhood obesity, and nationally recognized for his innovative wellness events. Most recently, you may have seen Len on such media giants as CNN, Good Morning America, CNBC, The Today Show, ESPN, Nickelodeon, MSNBC, The Fox Channel, as well as the front page of The Wall Street Journal. Most recently, he has authored and published four books.

Karen Goeller www.KarenGoeller.com has educated thousands in the fitness & gymnastics arena with her work. Karen is the author of more gymnastics books than anyone in the USA. She enjoys helping athletes return to competition shape after an injury, and regularly includes “injury prevention exercises* in her conditioning programs. Karen has been featured on many media outlets for over 20 years. Before earning her BA Degree, Karen’s education included training as an EMT, Physical Therapist, and Nutritionist. She has certifications such as EMT-D, Nutritional Analysis, Fitness Trainer, many USAG certifications, and the NSCA-CSCS.

Erin Ley’s Books:

Maggie The Magnificent character-building book series for children (ages 4-12) “Maggie’s in the Driver’s Seat” and “Maggie Unmasks Planet Pumpkin”
www.MaggieTheMagnificent.com and www.ErinLey.com
“The Will to Live: The Perks of Cancer Though the Eyes of a Survivor” (inspirational/empowering memoir for ages 17-117) – Erin provides individual cancer coaching sessions over the phone for cancer patients across the country. Contact her any time for a free 30 minute session. If you decide to schedule additional sessions with Erin you will receive her memoir, “The Will to Live”, as our gift to you. www.ErinLey.com

Erin is available for interviews, media, book signings, special events, and more. Please feel free to contact Erin anytime at www.ErinLey.com or info@erinley.com. Have a great day!

I never would’ve thought non-Hodgkin’s lympoblastic lymphoma (cancer) would be part of my young adult life. And, I certainly didn’t expect the experience of living with cancer to be the catalyst catapulting me into a (then) new found freeing awareness of how special each of us really are. We all have different voices, styles and ways of living our lives—each fabulous in his or her own way because of the uniqueness. I’ve voluntarily stepped into the limelight, began to live outside the box, and found the most peaceful way to experience life was from within, getting comfortable in my own skin, and realizing that it takes confidence and courage to make the kind of difference in this world that I’d like to make.

There are two very special events outlined below I’d like to share with you.

Please join me as I celebrate:
Tomorrow, October 10th, Moms Who Kick (www.MomsWhoKick.com) will have their annual Gala. At this moment there are well over 300 attending and with just a few seats left, there is still an opportunity to purchase at the door. This year’s Gala is being held at the Garden City Hotel in the Ballroom from 6:30-11:30pm. Founder, Joanne Hutchins, along with Laura Hartman, Danielle Hamill and others, have put together this phenomenal fundraising event! There will be a cocktail hour, sit down dinner, dancing, desert, and a fashion show put on by the winners of the MWK “Model Mom 2013 Calendar” contest—which includes me (Mrs. December), eleven other Moms representing each of the other eleven months, and a few other very special women featured in this amazing Calendar. Please read the Press Release to follow; and, visit www.MomsWhoKick.com to see what YOU can do to help KICK for the CURE!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Contact: Laura Hartman
Phone (516) 603-6042
Breast Cancer Awareness Month Kicks off…Hollywood Style! Sept 2012, Long Island, NY – While October is traditionally a month full of fundraisers and benefits for the cause, now is the time to choose the event that promises the most glitz & glamour for your charitable donation! Moms Who Kick Inc, a 501(c)(3) Public Charity dedicated to raising funds for breast cancer research and to support women’s health, will launch their annual calendar, “Performance 2013-Fitness in Motion,” at a Gala celebrating breast cancer survivors and women affected by cancer. The “stars” of the 2013 Hollywood Style Calendar will debut on Wednesday October 10, 2012 at The Garden City Hotel from 6:30-11:30pm. Each attendee will receive the MWK 2013 calendar, which is included in the ticket price of the event.

The Gala will satisfy the public’s curiosity, as the models made up to resemble movie stars are finally revealed. Behind the scenes photos of the making of the iconic calendar were leaked to Facebook in late July. Most of the “Moms Next Door” who will be modeling fashions from Lonny’s & Estelle’s Dressy Dresses on the runway are the winners of the Model Mom Contest that Moms Who Kick holds each year to “cast” the women in the calendar. No one from the LI based charity will confirm or deny whether any of the real movie stars will attend the Gala to see their likenesses take the stage, but with plenty of photo-ops for guests on the pink carpet with the models, the evening promises true Star Power! Tickets are $150 per person and include a cocktail hour with open bar, seated dinner, fashion show, dessert, and dancing. Tables of ten reserved seating are available for $1200. Rsvp by Sept 21, 2012 for the charity event of the season!

Moms Who Kick Inc has pledged a portion of the 2013 Calendar Campaign to benefit The Breast and Ovarian Cancer Studies led by Drs’ Iuliana Shapira and Annette Lee of the North Shore-LIJ Health System, and both extraordinary women are honorees at the Gala. There will also be a fabulous “Your Choice” raffle, door prizes, and an auction hosted by Triple Crown Sports. Display tables are available for a $500 donation. Prominent corporations such as Wine U Design, Krystal Blue Intl, Stella & Dot, and Brighton Collectibles, whose exquisite Power of Pink bracelet will benefit Moms Who Kick Inc during Breast Cancer Awareness Month, have already signed on for vendor displays.

Visit www.MomsWhoKick.com or email info@momswhokick.com for more information.

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Next, on November 15th, I will be the guest speaker alongside best-selling author, Jim Bouchard at his Think Like a BLACK BELT Belt For The Entrepreneurial Woman event being held at the Inn at The Fox Hollow in Westbury, NY. More information about this fabulous event is as follows:

FEAR is cited as one of the TOP 5 CHALLENGES faced by women entrepreneurs. FEAR of what? Fear of failure, selling, losing work/life balance, networking, and, ironically, fear of SUCCESS top the list.
In a challenging economy like this one, many women take on the role of entrepreneur by necessity. Their employers are down-sizing, and they find themselves without work after years of employment. Stay-at-home Moms are finding more household income is needed, and they have to return to the work force. College aged children are returning home to live with their parents, without jobs or prospects.

“Becoming an entrepreneur is no easy task,” says Jim Bouchard, international speaker and best-selling author of THINK Like A BLACK BELT. “The key to success as an entrepreneur is confidence; the surety of your own capabilities based on knowledge, training and preparation. The Black Belt is the iconic symbol of excellence. The Black Belt Mindset principles I teach: discipline, courage, focus, perseverance; all these things help instill the confidence needed for success.”

Why then, is this especially challenging for women? “We often wear too many hats, trying to find the perfect balance between work and family. We can also be more adverse to risk-taking than men, and let our fears get in the way of moving forward,” says Erin Ley, local “Mom-preneur”, cancer survivor and author of the Maggie the Magnificent character-building children’s book series, and inspirational/empowering memoir for adults titled, The Will to Live. “We hear that little voice asking, Am I good enough? Do I have the time? as we question our abilities. Confidence and Courage begin with believing in oneself. Living from the inside out really is the key.”

“I’m committed to helping anyone, man or woman, develop the courage and confidence they need for peak performance in business or personal life,” says Bouchard. You can’t earn a Black Belt in an hour, but you certainly can learn to THINK like one!”

On Thursday, November 15th, Jim Bouchard teams up with Erin Ley, for a special two hour event at The Inn at Fox Hollow in Woodbury. “THINK Like A BLACK BELT For The Entrepreneurial Woman” starts at 5:00pm, and features a cocktail mixer sponsored by The Inn at Fox Hollow, networking opportunities and swag bags featuring gift items provided by local area businesses.

Shea Maultsby and Marcella Palmer of M.INK Productions are the event’s platinum sponsor. They speak of the importance of using video and social media outlets to “get your brand across and expand your market” says Shea. “You can have the greatest product or idea in the world, but nothing will happen if nobody knows about it. In this digital age, it’s becoming easier and easier to get the word out.” Shea and Marcella are the forces behind In Full View, the web-based news show. IFV News will cover the event.

“Erin and I welcome anyone currently operating as an entrepreneur or thinking of starting a business to spend the evening with us”, says Jim Bouchard. “We know we’re providing valuable information, and besides” he says, smiling, “you’ll have a great time while you’re at it!”
Early bird on-line registration is $60 before October 25th.
FMI: Visit www.ThinkLikeABlackBelt.org or call 800-786-8502.

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Thank you to everyone who takes a moment to help make a difference, a positive impact, on the lives of others! It’s with tremendous admiration that I look to you as my inspiration!

Much love,
~Erin
www.ErinLey.com
Live ONWARD with great character and a smile!

My point not being whether UFO’s exist or not – I have no idea. My point is that we live in a country that is incredibly tuned into the whole world via internet, and every other way possible, that it’s a much larger version of the Martian from Mars tactic. I don’t care if someone is Democrat, Republican, Independent, Undecided, or Decided to the grave…that doesn’t matter to me. Can we, as a people, put a smile on our faces, get some backbone and character behind our words, and move forward with dignity, confidence and respect? Please? This country is searching high and low for the defibulator that’ll bring her heart back. Bring back the SMILE!

Why live in some perceived world—and everyone has their own—of depravation when it doesn’t take much to smile. Yes, smile! It’s a physiological fact that it takes more facial muscles working to frown than to smile. Maybe, just maybe, we’ll save money on Botox treatments for all those frown lines.

Now, seriously though, happiness is a way of life…not some place we save up to vacation, or try to fit into our schedules. Happiness is a habit. Imagine your brain is a muscle. When we spend more time focusing on what’s wrong with our life rather than what’s right with it, strengthening the negativity within our brain, then when we have an idle moment our brain will automatically go to the negative because that’s the part we’ve strengthened/worked-out the most. We CAN do the opposite! When we begin to find ourselves in a rut that’s gone on too long, say out loud, “Stop! I will not allow myself to *continuously* focus on what’s going wrong with my life!” Look in the mirror. Then get solution oriented. Begin to learn how to live in a state of thankful, solution oriented mindfulness.

It is then, and only then, when we begin to take our own personal power back. We become acutely aware of the control we have over our thoughts. Being aware of the control we have, and being in control of our thoughts are two separate subjects. The beginning is awareness. A best-selling, award winning children’s author of the book titled, SMILE is the true story of the time Raina knocked her two front teeth out when she was 11 years old, and how she got her smile back. Raina Telgemeier suffered a serious mouth injury that required several years of dental and orthodontic surgery, (which is described in her 2010 graphic novel – SMILE). She was viciously teased by her friends because of this medical treatment, prompting her to partially withdraw into her love of drawing until she lost her patience with the abuse when they publicly humiliated her. She eventually found new friends of better character in high school who appreciated her artistic talent, increasing her confidence. Raina became aware and then took control! I love that! Hearing a story about facing adversity such as this, finding the value of true friendship, the significance of character and standing up for oneself, and writing a best-selling/award winning book about it makes me SMILE!

August 10th was my 16th Wedding Anniversary. As my husband, Ronnie, and I were out to dinner we spoke about past experiences and future goals. We exchanged gifts, had lots of laughs, and tons of positive focus on our family’s past, present and future. Very nice, right? Now listen to this…
Just one day before, my (large) toaster-oven went on fire. The thing malfunctioned and within one minute of putting toast in… the entire toaster-oven was in flames. It was about 9:30am, my husband was at work and my 14 year old son, Brendan, was still sleeping. I was making breakfast for my 9 year old, Maggie, and 10 year old, Danny. Screaming like a lunatic for the kids to get out of the house and run next door (fire protocol enforced for the first time in the 15 years living here), I reached into the toaster-oven (flames raging), swatted the 2 pieces of black toast (that were on fire) to the ground and put them out with my bare feet (found out later that opening the door to the toaster oven letting air in was a bad move…live and learn). My hand to God, for the millisecond I looked at the flames they looked as if they were alive – different colors reaching out about a foot all around the toaster-oven itself. Still screaming for my 14 year old to GET UP!!! and GET OUT!!! I was running around looking for the fire extinguisher. Ronnie just finished painting the 1st floor so the fire extinguisher was not where it’s been for the last 9 years since the last paint job; however, my son came running down the stairs, knew where one was and blasted the fire out—I’m still thanking God for the few months he had under his belt with the Fire Explorers. A few moments later, my next door neighbor, Mark, a Deputy Chief with the New York City Fire Department, came over and made sure the fire wasn’t traveling up the walls.

As I stuttered throughout the day speaking with the firemen when they came, police, neighbors, the people at the diner we went to as our open windows allowed the smoke to leave the house, the day, for me, was a day focused on everything wrong with the house, wrong with our “planning”, anything I could find wrong with something…I did, right down to this very laptop I’m typing on.

The following day, our Wedding Anniversary, was a day of reflection. The fire could’ve been worse. The damage to the house was minimal at best. Thank God the kids came out of the experience unscathed and my eldest holds a sense of pride for his action in putting the fire out. It’s a miracle my hands and feet didn’t get burned. Everyone did exactly what was planned for this type of emergency; therefore, the day of shock for me was put to rest by a day of renewal.

An Anniversary, Birthday, New Year’s Day, a day someone finds precious to them for new-beginnings is a wonderful thing. It’s a new beginning, a fresh start. My challenge to all of us is… let’s not wait for a “special occasion” to put a smile on our faces. I honestly try to find something to be thankful for and celebrate each and every day. It’s not something I write down in a journal, although when I speak with children, and others, I ask that they do–even one or two positive experiences a day. I celebrate miracles, big and small, throughout the day with spontaneity—it’s a habit; and, at the end of the night I thank God for all He’s given me.

Like the picture I have in my office says, A Smile Is Contagious—Let’s Start An Epidemic! And, let’s hope the media catches hold of that type of plague…then spreads it like wildfire.

Live ONWARD with great character and a smile!
~Erin Ley

Onward Productions – Announcements:

SAVE THE DATE: 10/10/12 – Many thanks to Joanne Hutchins, Laura Hartman and Danielle Hamill of the non-profit cancer organization, Moms Who Kick, www.momswhokick.com, for organizing the extraordinary Gala taking place at the Garden City Hotel on October 10, 2012. Please check out their website, and the right side of this site, to see more about this fantastic non-profit cancer organization. For anyone interested in helping, Moms Who Kick (MWK) is still looking for corporate sponsorship and donations for the Gala. Please contact the Founder, Joanne Hutchins personally at jo@momswhokick.com if you think you would be able to help in some way. Thank you to all who participate!

The Onward & Upward radio show: Guest (date TBA here in the “Events” section of the site), Len Saunders (http://www.lensaunders.com), is an award winning author, motivational speaker in the fight against childhood obesity, and nationally recognized for his innovative wellness events. Most recently, you may have seen Len on such media giants as CNN, Good Morning America, CNBC, The Today Show, ESPN, Nickelodeon, MSNBC, The Fox Channel, as well as the front page of The Wall Street Journal. Most recently, he has authored and published four books.

Speaking of “food/eating”, my husband, Ronnie, and I started a new venture together with Pampered Chef as of late July. LOVE IT!!! Yes, Ron is a much better cook than me; however, now that we are with Pampered Chef I’m much more motivated to try to improve and get more creative with my meals. If you would like to set up a virtual Facebook Pampered Chef Show/Event anywhere in the USA, please contact us here, or visit www.pamperedchef.biz/leyskitchencorner. Also, please take a moment and “LIKE” our new FB business page, www.facebook.com/leyskitchencorner.Thank you!

As we move ONWARD throughout the rest of this school year and plan for 2012-2013: For any Long Island (NY) based elementary school, public and/or private; library; Boy and/or Girl Scout Troop; events of any kind can contact me any time at here at, www.ErinLey.com or www.MaggieTheMagnificent.com when looking to provide a character-building presentation. I’ve incorporated food allergy awareness into my presentations not only because two of my three young children have life threatening peanut, tree nut and pitted fruit allergies; the number of food allergies in both adults and children have grown exponentially.

For schools, hospitals, non-profits, businesses—large or small looking for a motivational/keynote speaker who survived cancer, and so much more, and recognizes *where there’s a WILL there’s a way* to help improve the quality of your environment, or to instruct you on how to help others improve the quality of their environment—school, work, hospital, or home, feel free to contact me anytime. *** I provide individual cancer coaching sessions over the phone for cancer patients across the country as well. www.ErinLey.com

I found Balance years ago after my non-Hodgkins lymphoblastic lymphoma (cancer) diagnosis in the early 90’s at 25 years old and immediately began living in the “Now” – the *present*. I call it “Living In The Zone” (coined by Marianne Muldoon), a fabulous place for the mind, body and spirit to be. Nevertheless, over the years, there have been circumstances whereby time would take precedence over all else and my Balance would get thrown off. The mindset of regrets from the past and concern for the future resumed leaving the present almost non-existent. This usually occurred when something unexpected happened causing a gut-wrenching, “You gotta be kidding me!” Finally, being more in-tuned and aware of when the time-shift was taking place, bringing myself Present has become much more simplistic. It’s all in the “Awareness.”

Mother’s Day 2012: It was fantastic celebrating with my Husband, Children, Mom and Dad, Sisters, Brother in-law, Nieces, Nephew, Aunt, Uncle, and Cousins 1st & 2nd generation at my cousin Janice’s home this Mother’s Day. So much to be thankful for! Yet, once again, I was living in the “time” frame-of-mind. I found myself exhausted as I was leaving her home because I spent the day continuously thinking about an early morning commitment I had the following day. Thoughts of oversleeping, getting lost, and/or doing anything that might interfere with the positive outcome of this incredible commitment was consuming.

This “commitment” turned out to be a new Awakening and one of the GREATEST EXPERIENCES OF MY LIFE! I met so many strong (in every sense of the word), amazing, caring, and generous people. It was a Hollywood style photo-shoot in a gorgeous mansion hosted by one of the most gracious couples I’ve ever met—surrounded by extremely positive, upbeat, and incredibly generous energy. When I tell you it took every childhood fantasy I had of being the princess in a castle and blew those fantasies out of the water… that’s how extraordinary the experience was! So why did I waste so much mind-racing time prior to the event causing unnecessary fatigue the night before? I needed the reminder to stay “STILL”… stay in the present knowing all else is meant to be and accepted.

The day after Mother’s Day my Balance was strengthened once more. It was a slap to the forehead moment. Prior to the Mother of all Days, Mother’s Day, I was stressing out about all of my upcoming events, functions, chores, deadlines and obligations—trying to make sure everything was prepared or completed. Crunch-time! Intellectually I knew how to keep my stress under control, deep breathing and all; however, the intellect doesn’t tap into the intimate/emotional/psychological part of oneself. The intellect only knows the consciousness… and claims VICTORY over all the aforementioned, if allowed. The continued epiphany for me was to be STILL in every way possible, releasing the negative self-talk from my mind, releasing time itself, and replacing it with affirmations, counting my blessings, and getting back to living in the moment. This is what restores balance. It’s a peaceful way to live… to be alive, responsibly and unapologetically accepting the here and now.

This includes perception of the valley—accepting the darkness and doing what’s needed to find the light to reach the perceived peak. My diagnosis of the rare pediatric form of cancer called non-Hodgkins lymphoblastic lymphoma is a good example of this. I experienced the darkness of the diagnosis, did what was needed in the form of treatment to find light which brought me to the peak—being cured. For most of us, we’re never “always” in the valley, just as we’re never “always” at the peak. Existing peacefully wherever we are, based on our insight, foresight, and acceptance—balance—is reality. Spending time regretting circumstances from the past and/or worrying about the future is living in an altered reality…and not a very fulfilling one. The worry, fear, anxiousness and anger never did anything constructive to help my negative situations; if anything they made them worse. Time wasted.

Each tragedy I’ve experienced has brought me to greater heights. Without them I believe I wouldn’t appreciate all that I have—mostly my husband, Ronnie; three children, Brendan Danny and Maggie; our health; faith in God and each other; family; friends; even a stranger in passing who takes a moment to glance over and smile; and our home – which is way more than just our house, it’s our home. I’m extremely grateful.

Some of my favorite authors such as Jon Kabot Zinn, PhD, and Eckhart Tolle have taught me that one’s true nature, experiencing the “here and now,” offers freedom and enlightenment. Negative self-talk such as: ‘never’ (sometimes ‘always’), ‘can’t’, ‘don’t’, ‘won’t’, ‘should/shouldn’t’… induces fear, stress and guilt, draining ones soul. Replacing such verbiage with affirmatives such as ‘Can’, ‘Do’, ‘Will’ ‘Love’ ‘Peace’ and ‘Joy’ feeds the Soul. Our Soul will then begin to grow brighter and stronger—allowing us to experience our fabulous “Self” to the fullest. Each time I experience the off-balance phenomenon and reclaim my Self, my feeling centered mentally, physically and spiritually seems to continue to grow deeper—Learning and Growing (aka Onward and Upward – this is how the brand came to be). Now that’s a balanced life!

Onward and Upward’s Note to Share for May; and thank you to Judy for sending it to me!:

Hi Erin, This is something I want to share with you because like you, I want to make a difference in this world… to help make it a better place for all of us, especially our children. I would practice yoga inconsistently, joining again and again, going here and there. Then a hot yoga studio opened in our neighborhood, Smithtown, NY. I received an email from them looking for yoga students for their work study program. I figured I would try it. The work study is when you work at the studio in exchange for an unlimited membership. I began practicing every day, and that’s when my life changed!

I had a bag I made a few years ago and used it as my yoga bag. Not thinking about making and selling them, one of the students stopped me to find out where I got the bag because she was looking for something like it to carry her yoga mat. That’s when I created a tote bag for her mat and she loved it. I was inspired to make more and sell them. I combined my passion for knitting, crocheting and yoga to create one of a kind totes and bags. I put a little of myself into each bag. Then my passion expanded and I created a special kind of candle – a wishing candle. People make a wish, light the candle and connect with the light. I make everything with 100% love and want to share my joy and happiness with people thru my craft. My bags are made with yarn and cotton. When I can I use recycled and re-purposed material. I make the candles with US grown soy wax and I use recycled glass when I can. My products are available on etsy. The address is www.sassyyoga.etsy.com.

Namaste, Judy Croce

Onward Productions – Announcements:

Many thanks to Joanne Hutchins, Laura Hartman and Danielle Hamill for organizing the most incredible Hollywood style photo-shoot on May 14th for us 12 Moms being featured in the “2013 Moms Who Kick Calendar.” Maria and Vinny Polsinelli were exceptionally gracious hosts and the team from Bocu Salon & Spa located in Commack, NY did a spectacular job with our hair, makeup, and so much more, in the Polsinelli home. The wardrobe was extraordinary…as was the photography team and every moment of the day! Please visit www.ErinLey.com (on the right side of the site) to see more about this fantastic non-profit cancer organization; and, if you’d like, please print out the form for donation/sponsorship prior to June 15th to be included in the calendar. The mailing address is located on the form.

Many thanks to my guest, Walter Townes, for joining us on this month’s Onward And Upward radio program, “The Power Within”. Walter is the author of the phenomenal book, Comin’ Home and joined us Thursday, May 10, 2012, from 1:00pm-2:00pm ET at www.BlogTalkRadio.com/ErinLey. Please visit the site and take a moment to listen to the archive; and, check out Walter’s website, www.CominHomethenovel.com, to see the amazing work he does illustrating how each of us can aspire to greatness, giving back, paying it forward—and with a healthy sense of sportsmanship.

Many thanks to the students, faculty and families, along with my wonderful colleagues from the Long Island Children’s Writer’s and Illustrator’s group, for the Author/Illustrator Nights at: 1) Smithtown Elementary School in Smithtown, NY on May 3rd; and 2) Eugene Auer in Lake Grove, NY on May 4th. Thank you Candace Tettamanti and Donna Mazovec for organizing the events, the invitations and your gracious hospitality.

As we move ONWARD throughout the rest of this school year and plan for 2012-2013: For any Long Island (NY) based elementary school, public and/or private; library; Boy and/or Girl Scout Troop; events of any kind can contact me any time at www.ErinLey.com or www.MaggieTheMagnificent.com when looking to provide a character-building presentation. I’ve incorporated food allergy awareness into my presentations not only because two of my three young children have life threatening peanut, tree nut and pitted fruit allergies; the number of food allergies in both adults and children have grown exponentially. Funding for these visits are provided by a number of sources including, but not limited to, the PTA/PTO; and, both Nassau & Suffolk BOCES—I am registered with both.

For schools, hospitals, non-profits, businesses—large or small looking for a motivational/keynote speaker who survived cancer, and so much more, and recognizes *where there’s a WILL there’s a way* to help improve the quality of your environment, or to instruct you on how to help others improve the quality of their environment—school, work, hospital, or home, feel free to contact me anytime. I provide individual cancer coaching sessions over the phone for cancer patients across the country as well. www.ErinLey.com

As St. Patrick’s Day approaches and we speak of “trying times”, it reminds me not only of the deep-rooted heritage and love my family and I share in this day as all four of my grandparents came to America from their homeland, Ireland, in the early 1900’s, I’m also reminded of their strong desire, dedication, and resolve to make America their (new) extraordinary home for our family. All four lived a long life, one into his late 70’s and the other three into their 90’s, thankful for having made the move.

Gratitude is one of my most favorite character traits; so, existing in such a state this morning I posted a status on Facebook quoting Melody Beattie. Having no idea who she was until I drew from a list of inspirational quotes, I decided to Google her. Ms. Beattie is the author of Codependent No More which sold over eight million copies in the 80’s and introduced the word “codependent” to the general public. In addition she has authored many other books including, The Language of Letting Go, and Make Miracles in Forty Days, Turning What You Have Into What You Want.

The quote I posted from Melody Beattie this morning reads as follows: “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

Now that is my version of a Pot Of Gold! Each of us has it within us. All we have to do is reach inside and attain it. Embrace it. Experience it. Live it! Gratitude is priceless and provides abundance in all areas of life.

There’s a non-profit cancer organization affiliated with St. Patrick’s Day called, St. Baldrick’s. As a cancer survivor and cancer coach/consultant, I LOVE this organization and encourage you to check it out as well. Here’s some information I received from Wikipedia and the site itself: St. Baldrick’s Foundation is a childhood cancer charity funding the most promising research to help find cures for kids with cancer.

The Foundation raises money for childhood cancer research primarily through head-shaving events. Volunteers sponsored by family, friends and employers, shave their heads in solidarity with kids who typically lose their hair during cancer treatment. Events have taken place in all 50 US states and 28 countries.

The concept of St. Baldrick’s was devised in 1999 by three Irish-American reinsurance executives from New York City, and grew from a single event to a nationwide effort in a relatively short period of time, now known as the world’s first and largest volunteer fundraiser for childhood cancer research. The founders decided to turn their St. Patrick’s Day party into a benefit for pediatric oncology research by shaving their heads, thereby showing solidarity with children undergoing chemotherapy treatment. Therefore, the name of the Foundation is a play on the words Bald and Patrick – going bald on St. Patrick’s Day, led to St. Baldrick’s.

Click Here For More St. Baldrick’s Pictures

Here’s to wishing all of you a very Happy St. Patrick’s Day filled with love, health, happiness, gratitude, and your own Pot O’ Gold!

Onward Productions – Announcements:

• I’m thrilled to announce my guest for this month’s Onward And Upward radio program, author of the phenomenal children’s book Molly Kite’s Big Dream, and inspirational speaker, Tam Veilleux will be joining us Wednesday, March 28, 2012, from 1:00pm-2:00pm ET at www.BlogTalkRadio.com/ErinLey. Please take a moment and check out Tam’s website, www.Tam-I-Am.com, to see the amazing work she does illustrating how each of us manifests our own *Law of Attraction* (LOA).
• In addition, I’m looking forward to visiting the students, faculty and families, along with my wonderful colleagues from the Long Island Children’s Writer’s and Illustrator’s group, for the Author/Illustrator Nights at: 1) Jericho Elementary School in Centereach, NY on March 20th; and 2) Andrew Muller Primary School in Miller Place, NY on April 4th. Many thanks to Stacey Cooper and Cristin Mansfield-Soldano for organizing the events and the invitation.
• As we move ONWARD throughout the rest of this school year and plan for 2012-2013:
  For any Long Island (NY) based elementary school, public and/or private library, Boy and/or Girl Scout Troop, events of any kind can contact me any time at www.ErinLey.com or www.MaggieTheMagnificent.com when looking to provide a character-building presentation. I’ve incorporated food allergy awareness into my presentations not only because two of my three young children have life threatening peanut and pitted fruit allergies, but because the number of food allergies in both adults and children have grown exponentially. Funding for these visits are provided by a number of sources including, but not limited to, the PTA/PTO, and both Nassau & Suffolk BOCES—I am registered with both.
• For schools, hospitals, non-profits, businesses—large or small—looking for a motivational/keynote speaker who survived cancer, and so much more, and recognizes *where there’s a WILL there’s a way* to help improve the quality of your environment, or to instruct you on how to help others improve the quality of their environment—school, work, hospital, or home—feel free to contact me anytime. I provide individual cancer coaching sessions over the phone for cancer patients across the country as well.

A Wish For A Friend

Wishing you a rainbow
For sunlight after showers—
Miles and miles of Irish smiles
For golden happy hours—
Shamrocks at your doorway
For luck and laughter too,
And a host of friends that never ends
Each day your whole life through!

As opposed to beating his chest or doing a silly mock type of dance when things go well for him, Tebow gets down on his knee or points up to the sky [referencing Heaven]. He speaks openly and unapologetic about his faith in God and Jesus, faces the criticism and chooses to turn the other cheek.

As both a New Yorker and fan of the Giants excited for the Super Bowl next Sunday, in my opinion Tim Tebow walks away with the prize. Maybe not the ring of all rings—something better. Tebow has become the shining example and light of encouragement for so many. I’m thrilled to have this 25 year-old man as someone my children can look up to. Tebow holds qualities I believe to be real: integrity, loyalty, honesty, honor, dedication, perseverance, enthusiasm, commitment, joy, love and peace. No matter what race, gender, ethnicity or religion, those are great and admirable qualities to have. Here’s a man who’s not out to hurt anyone. He’s never been incarcerated. He’s not forcing his faith or anything else on anyone… he’s simply expressing his faith—Tebow style. He’s proud of who he is and praises someone higher than himself for his gifts. Good for him!

As stated in Tim Tebow’s website, www.TimTebow.com, “I’ve lived my life by this quote since I was 6 years old: ‘Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.’”

Athletes have prayed then played on the court, field, rink, etc. for centuries. Quite often, entertainers get up and thank God above anyone when receiving some type of award whether it’s an Emmy, Oscar, Grammy, MTV, People’s Choice… any film or music award. And then there are people like me who’ve been diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoblastic lymphoma, or any other type of cancer/life threatening disease or circumstance, praying for a healthier tomorrow. I’m sure our families and friends prayed for us, as we pray for others whenever and wherever possible. Faith is powerful.

As an American watching her country steer away from America’s Judeo-Christian values, clearly stated in the Declaration of Independence, heading down the secular route, I hope and pray the pressure doesn’t become too great for Tebow. He too is human; yet a great man who’s arrived, I believe, at the right time.

A great article to read:
http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2012/01/tim_tebows_public_expressions.html

Onward Production – Announcements:

• I’m pleased to announce my guest for this month’s Onward And Upward radio program, “The Marketing Doctor!” Dr. John Tantillo will be joining us Monday, January 30, 2012, from 12pm-1pm ET at www.BlogTalkRadio.com/ErinLey. Take a moment and go that site to check out Dr. Tantillo’s bio, book, People Buy Brands Not Companies, and much more. He’s notorious for educating many individuals in various venues with regard to branding and all things marketing, and making the recommendation, “Go brand yourself!”
• Also, I had a fantastic night at the Old Mills Road Elementary School in Merrick last Tuesday night, January 24, 2012, with a gathering of wonderful colleagues from the Long Island Children’s Writer’s and Illustrator’s group! As we personally inscribe each of our books for those purchasing, the students, families, faculty and administrators were extremely gracious. They came to each of our tables asking questions about the writing process, how we come up with the names of our characters, and more. Many thanks to Maria Small for organizing the event and the invite.
• Next, I’m looking forward to this Thursday, February 2, 2012. As the guest author at Oquenock Elementary School in West Islip (NY) I will provide both a character-building and food allergy awareness presentation for the students. Their theme for the night, “Reading Under The Stars,” works beautifully with my futurist, out-of space children’s books, and twelve-year-old main character, Maggie The Magnificent. Many thanks to Carmela Caminito for organizing this event and contacting me through my website.



• As we move ONWARD throughout the rest of this school year and plan for 2012-2013, any Long Island (NY) based elementary school, public and/or private, can contact me any time at www.ErinLey.com when looking to provide a character-building assembly. I’ve incorporated food allergy awareness into my presentations not only because two of my three young children have life threatening peanut and pitted fruit allergies; the number of food allergies in both adults and children have grown exponentially. What better place to discuss this with our youth, along with the significance of great character, than in elementary schools where there are tremendous amount of projects completed and classroom parties that include food.

Now that the first month of this New Year has come to an end, I’m wishing all of you the very best this year, and life in general, has to offer! Life’s too short for any of us to continuously conform… live inside “the box.” Break out of that box! Live outside the box! Outside the box is who you truly are; and it’s my pleasure and privilege to be connected with you in one way or another.

For some reason stress seems to be the norm these days. During this holiday season, marketing of violent games for children is not quite the marketing that went on with GI Joe or Cops and Robbers. Our kids’ imaginations have been hijacked; and, society has implemented a full court press sensual pitch competing for our children’s visceral response – specifically the visual and auditory – desensitizing them to all things negative. An overwhelming number of high school students on high blood pressure meds is deemed acceptable. And if you’d like a dose of pessimistic overload, just turn on the news—that’ll keep ya hoppin’ as you shop for sure.

Is it all everybody else’s fault? Are parents just as much the victims of this craziness as the kids? Should grown men and woman of high standards keep pointing at those establishments while shaking our heads back and forth…tsk…tsk…tsk? Hell NO!!!

Life’s too short to be manipulated like some kind of automaton. Capitulating who we are little by little is stress inducing and a sign of weakness. We CAN mindfully choose what we’d like to purchase and monitor when it comes to what our children watch and play at home. We CAN do our best to create an environment of open communication with our kids to help reduce their stress and fear. And we CAN turn the television off when we feel as if we’ve heard enough.

Here are 3 websites worth checking out:

1. Dr. Bernie Siegel – “Defeat Stress – Our Most Treatable Health Hazard”:
   http://berniesiegelmd.com/2011/08/defeat-stress-our-most-treatable-health-hazard/
2. Dr. Heather Manley – “StressFreeKids.com”:
   http://www.stressfreekids.com/9142/reduce-stress-boost-immune-systems
3. My most recent guest, Dan Guarino, figured out that living life “fearless”, without giving so much power to the “what ifs” in life, is a wonderful thing:
   http://www.blogtalkradio.com/erinley/2011/11/29/fearless-the-why-not-factor

When I was diagnosed with cancer twenty years ago at age 25, I went from stressed-out and unassertive to stress-free and fearless. At the time I was unaware of my stress and apprehensive nature. That was my norm. However, after facing the Grim Reaper and giving it a stiletto kick to the hood, my senses were awakened. My way of thinking changed. That’s not to say I never experience stress or fear. Of course I do. The difference post diagnosis and surviving cancer is now as I experience stress and/or fear I work through whatever is making me anxious – as opposed to just existing in that state, trying to manage it.

Here is an excerpt from my book, The Will to Live: The Perks of Cancer Through the Eyes of a Survivor:

Another aspect of this ‘new beginning’ perk is that it allowed me to do things at my own pace—a pace that suited my needs. That in itself was a stress reducer. How often do we get the chance to set our own pace? We live in a world of time frames and deadlines, and are bombarded by expectations and demands. Now, I got to take that deep breath and that big step back. I took a good, long, hard look at the big picture—the panoramic view—to see what was rushing me through life. True health requires both a healthy body and a positive mind. As time passed, I realized it was all up to me. As I took charge of my life, it became increasingly a time of joy, rest, and renewal—ideal circumstances for a new beginning.

So, as this year comes to an end and we embrace 2012, I’d like to wish all of you much love, health, fun, laughter, positive energy, great character, prosperity and happiness. Let’s focus on what’s right with our lives as we deal with the challenges. Let’s have a clear sense of moderation, a deep bond with our mind, body and spirit, a healthy connection with each other—and, let’s do our best to respond appropriately to whatever comes our way.

Love,
~Erin

So where do we find some semblance of a solution to a problem that’s been plaguing individuals like a cancer since the dawn of time? Hmmm…how about… within ourselves! If each of us takes accountability for how we treat others, how we speak to others and how we communicate in the tech world of today, what a huge start that would be. Yes, one word—“ACCOUNTABILITY.”

Bullies usually surround themselves with like-minded weakness. They validate each other. Lots of back-slapping at-a-boyz! and, at-a-girlz! going on. And, more often than not there’s a pecking order. At the top—usually the one with the loudest, foulest, most brazen hurtful mouth. At the bottom—the most fearful follower of the pack. Leading as an example of great character is what’s considered laughable within these circles. They spin out of control. Lack of character is what they embrace. And, the spinning continues.

Standing up to a bully takes courage—one of the most admirable character traits anyone can demonstrate. Honesty, responsibility, self-discipline and even compassion might come into play when standing up to a bully. There are tons of kids bullied/abused at home and then go to school taking their frustrations out on someone else because they’re deemed powerless in what’s supposed to be the safest place of all—home. Showing compassion for someone in that kind of situation takes a trait much deeper than courage. That’s not to say there’s ever an excuse for bullying; and, anyone indicative of such behavior should be held to task. There’s always a consequence matching someone’s action—good or bad. Reward for the good. Punishment for the bad. Plain and simple! Or is it? What if a bully thinks he/she is justified?

Check out what my guest from last month’s Onward and Upward Blog Talk Radio show, Judge Thomas Jacobs, penned. Please take your time reading it. As a parent, I found it heartbreaking…

A Message to Parents from a Teen’s Grave
by Thomas Jacobs www.askthejudge.info

“Oftentimes, out of personal tragedy comes a benefit to others. In the case of Jamey Rodemeyer the investigation into his suicide on September 18, 2011, presents a powerful message to parents, guardians and caretakers of children and teenagers.

After 14 year-old Jamey took his life at home following years of bullying, the police took custody of his cell phone and computer. They discovered that Jamey had an account on Tumblr.com, Formspring and other social networking web sites. His parents weren’t aware of these accounts and accepted Jamey’s word that everything was fine at his new school. But it wasn’t.

These messages to Jamey were undoubtedly a shock to his parents. But they are a message to all those responsible for our youth to know their friends including their online acquaintances. It could save a life. Our hearts go out to Jamey’s family and friends. His bullies also need understanding as they may have been bullying victims as well and have to live with Jamey’s passing for the rest of their lives. They won’t be prosecuted as insufficient evidence exists to file formal charges. Their consequence for participating in this loss is essentially a life sentence.”

Can it get any clearer than that? Seriously, we’re no longer talking about kids getting bruised up in the school parking lot, or locker room. No, we’re talking about head games being played on kids being drawn into the (new) “it’s their world” for the whole school, neighborhood and world to see. As an adult, I know the weak aggressors try to be the big-mouth bullies—regardless of where they are. I’m pretty equipped, as I believe most adults are, at shutting a bully down based on life experience. Our kids however, do not have the life experience to realize you cannot rationalize with irrational people.

Mocking and/or name calling comes from someone who’s incredibly insecure—no matter what the age. So as grown men and women, parents, leaders in this society, let’s get our act together and educate the uneducated who do not understand, or fail to even try to comprehend the ramifications of bullying…especially cyber-bullying where it’s much easier to throw a [cowardly] virtual punch. A secure person with an immense sense of self, at any age, would think twice before hitting ‘Enter.’ Recognize the weakness of the bully…then step forth donned with great character.

I’d like to end with a quote I once read that went something like this, “One cannot feel stress and gratitude at the same time…I prefer to feel gratitude.”

I, too, prefer gratitude—to feel thankful, enjoyment, love and a complete sense of self. With those traits in hand, bullying, whether it be eye to eye or the quick type & enter, no longer has the power it wishes to have.

Love,
~Erin

I’m launching many things at once. There’s an expression, “All good things come to those who wait.” Well, I’ve been extremely patient as I’ve met many bumps in the road. Each bump a mere obstacle I’ve run around, fallen over, leaped over or flat out kicked to the curb. Now it seems as if the stars have aligned.

As a child, approximately forty years ago, I told my parents, “When I grow up I want to write children’s books.”

I’m forty-five and still unsure if I’ve grown up; however, I have without a doubt grown deeper and found my passion, my life’s purpose. Helping others based on my own life experiences is what I find most rewarding. As you’ll see here in this new site, all that I do has one underlying current. Helping others young and old seems to be my calling.

I find writing character-building children’s books most fascinating. Some writer’s try to find the perfect spin on a word, the rhythm flowing throughout the page or maybe some form of genius in keeping the message hidden within the story for only the reader to interpret.

I, on the other hand, write mainly for the clear message. I write with a purpose. I’m not saying my writing is any better or worse than anyone else, all I’m saying is with my writing [as with me] “what you see is what you get.” Writing didactic character-building books for children is a huge part of what I do because I feel the youth of today may no longer interpret the hidden message. Time in their world has quickened with technology whereby moments to think and decipher a correct message may not be available. The virtue of patience has been tested like never before. Therefore, the message of respect, responsibility, compassion, honesty and accountability, self-discipline, generosity, self-esteem, individuality, courage and confidence are spelled out, obvious for the reader. My intent is not condescending. Quite the contrary, it’s to ascend…lift and inspire to new heights. To be able to help each child recognize his or her unique kindness, beauty and extraordinary character through illustration is something I LOVE to do. With the help of my twelve year old main character, Maggie the Magnificent, I bring children into the year 3510 and set out on many adventures with Maggie and her spaceship. Each adventure within Maggie’s in the Driver’s Seat (consisting of six short stories) and Maggie Unmasks Planet Pumpkin deals with a different dominant character trait.

After having the Maggie the Magnificent children’s series published, the second half of my writing experience came to be…writing for adults. My empowering and inspiring cancer memoir/self-help book for adults titled, The Will To Live: The Perks of Cancer Through the Eyes of a Survivor was released. This book too is in line with my passion, what I believe to be my life’s purpose. I write for the message to be loud and clear. I write about hope, love, light and believing in oneself and others. For the last twenty years I’ve dedicated myself as a cancer coach, advocate, and motivational and inspirational speaker to help others get through their diagnosis without as much suffering as I endured during my two and half year protocol. It’s remarkably gratifying. I’m not a therapist or MD; however, I am someone who has been where that cancer patient is, gets it, and can provide what, more often than not, the doctors cannot.

As I’ve wanted to scream from the rooftops on more than one occasion what it is I’ve felt very deeply and strongly compelled to say, I decided in March 2010 to begin my own international web-based family oriented talk radio show. Onward And Upward, which represents moving forward and growing, is all about raising the proverbial bar in society. We have guests from all walks of life who are experts in their fields. I learn just as much as our listeners what it is we are discussing during any particular episode. I love it!

Please take the time to peruse my new site here at www.ErinLey.com, sign up for our newsletter and take a moment to introduce yourself in the contact area. Thank you for taking the time to stop by; and, thank you for taking the time to read my very first blog.

Live ONWARD with great character and a smile!

Love,
~Erin